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Who wouldn’t love a cookie that’s chocked full of two kinds of chocolate chips, pecans and oats? Rumor has it that these I Want to Marry You Cookies are so delicious that they’ve been known to elicit marriage proposals!
I’m not sure I believe that these I Want to Marry You Cookies will bring proposals but I know for certain that they’re some of the very best chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever made!
Do you have any traditions in your family that are almost “institutional”? You know, certain established practices that you wouldn’t DREAM of missing? That, in a nutshell, is what our “Middle-of-the-Night” parties have become. If you’ve been a longstanding follower of The Café, you might remember these crazy events, if not, you can read all about them here or here.
With our daughter, her husband and four children living in London, we can hardly wait to make fun, special family memories whenever we have the privilege of visiting each other on either side of “the pond”. One of our traditions is these delightful wee hours of the morning rendezvous’ that have become almost legendary. We make sure to include one of these celebrations, at an unannounced time, during their visit (and believe me, we are repeatedly reminded about them!). Our girlies love them, but they are also quite magical times for Grammy and Papa Scott.
We ran into a bit of a snag this time, however. It was the last night before their return flight to London, so the girlies had rightly surmised this would indeed be, “the” night for the special celebration. Grammy had mixed up the dough for these yummy, I Want to Marry You Cookies, and had planned to serve them warm, with china plates, candlelight and fancy glasses of cold milk. Papa was all set to document the party with his camera.
Mum (as British children call their mothers) and Daddy have been wonderful about going along with this silly tradition of ours and we’ve been careful to make the parties quite short (but sweet). As the girls were put to bed this time, they were admonished, in the usual tradition, “Go right to sleep without a lot of chatting.” in order to have the “privilege” of a Middle-of-the-Night-Party.
For some reason, sleep did not come easy, but shenanigans did! Mum warned them once and on the second visit when she found the lights on and the girls playing merrily, she informed them that the “party” would “most likely” be canceled. With Daddy being out of town, Mum discussed it with us and made the wise decision to cancel the party. It was important for the girls to understand the importance of obedience. We were disappointed but supported the decision wholeheartedly.
Disappointment was not even close to describing how the girls felt in the morning when they realized that the WHOLE night had passed without the special party. They came down to breakfast with very gloomy faces and said they both cried when they woke up. That made Grammy teary-eyed, and Mum too, but you know what?
This sad situation resulted in an extremely important life-lesson for our girls. One of the most difficult aspects of parenting (and grandparenting) is setting boundaries and then following through when those boundaries have been breached. Universally, kids will test, test, test to see if “the rules” still apply in every situation.
Contradictory to common thought, when children have secure boundaries and know there will be consequences for disobedient behavior, they feel loved and safe. On the other hand, when the borders are inconsistent and consequences are wishy-washy, insecurity and unhappiness abound. For us “softies” (and that’s just about all of us parents and grands, at one time or another) the “easy” path is to capitulate, to give in, to not make waves, allowing children to succeed in getting their way. The result is what here at The Café we call a “child-ruled home” in which both the children and the parents are often quite miserable.
There’s a wonderful ending to this tale of woe. When we bid the girlies farewell at the airport today, you’ll NEVER believe what they whispered as we hugged them goodbye their last words were; “We’ll NEVER miss a Middle-of-the-Night-Party again, EVER! When mum says that it’s time to go to sleep, well that’s what we’ll do”.
Mission accomplished!
Parents and grandparents, take heart! Love your kids and your grandkids with every bit of energy you have, but don’t be afraid to set limits, to be kind yet firm and to let your word stand on it’s own. Your children (and grandchildren) will not only respect you but will turn out to be much happier, more secure and confident individuals.
Oh yeah, and the I Want to Marry You Cookies – the girls helped me bake them before they left. I was intrigued by the recipe as there were a few unusual steps. Instead of the traditional method of creaming the softened butter and sugar together, the butter is melted on the stovetop instead. I used my stand mixer to combine the melted butter with the remaining ingredients, but you could also opt to mix it all together right on the stovetop.
The other somewhat unconventional element in the directions is to chill the cookies for 30 minutes before baking. I was a bit dubious (and forever in a hurry) so I tried baking one pan without the stint in the fridge. There was clearly a difference, the unchilled batch having a flatter and less attractive appearance.
Do you like the name? I Want to Marry You Cookies – I thought it was fun, though a bit crazy. After taking the first bite though, I “got” it. The melted butter combined with a generous measure of brown sugar creates crisp, caramelized outer edges while the centers remain soft and chewy. Toasted pecans add a lovely crunch and a pinch of cinnamon gives the cookies a unique, mysterious flavor. You’ll “get” it too – make a batch, they’re phenomenally delicious and you might just find your neighbors, friends, family, co-workers, actually everyone who tries them, offering to marry you!
Super delicious cookies, so good, it's reported that they've been known to elicit marriage proposals...
- 1 cup butter
- 1 ¼ cups light brown sugar
- ½ cup granulated sugar
- 1 egg
- 1 egg yolk
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 2 cups flour
- 1 cup uncooked rolled or old fashioned oats - not quick oats.
- ½ teaspoon baking soda
- ½ teaspoon kosher salt
- ¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1 cup white chocolate chips extra for garnishing, if desired*
- 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips extra for garnishing, if desired*
- 1 cup roughly chopped toasted pecans, extra for garnishing, if desired*
- In a medium saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat until melted. Remove from the heat.
- Add the brown sugar and granulated sugar and stir until sugars are incorporated and smooth. Chill the mixture for 10 minutes.
- Remove from the refrigerator and stir in the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla.
- Add the flour, oats, baking soda, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and cinnamon and mix together.
- Stir in the white chocolate chips, chocolate chips and pecans.
- Roll by hand into medium-size balls or use a scoop, and place on sheet pans. If desired, tuck extra chips and pecans over tops of dough mounds for a lovely appearance.
- Chill, on sheet pan for 30 minutes.
- Preheat the oven to 325˚F. Remove the cookies from the refrigerator and bake for 14-18 minutes, or until golden brown. Allow to cool for several minutes on pan, then transfer to cooling rack.
- Watch the proposals coming pouring in!!! 🙂
I can't verify this but they say that these cookies are known to inspire marriage proposals. I can verify that they're crazy-good!
Kristin says
Hi! Do you use salted or unsalted butter for this recipe. Thank you!
Chris Scheuer says
Hi Kristin, I use salted butter.
Tara says
Hi I’m going to make these delicious sounding cookies, however can they be frozen after they are baked? I want them to taste fresh for Christmas which is in 6 days.
Thanks!
Chris Scheuer says
Hi Tara, yes you can definitely freeze them. But don’t tell anyone they’re in the freezer or sadly, you probably won’t have any cookies when you go to get your cookie platter ready.
Jenny says
I just made these 30 mins ago…
My husband says he will marry me all over again! I made them with coconut oil instead of butter and they are fantastic. Thank you for a great recipe. I will be making these for Christmas guaranteed 😁
Chris Scheuer says
That’s awesome! I love it! See, I’m just a little match maker 🙂
Diann Rivera says
Thanks so much for sharing the story about your granddaughters and the special Middle-of -the-Night Party. What a neat idea and love the story about boundaries. We need more parents that are more concerned about the end result rather than the immediate situation. I commend your daughter for making the tough choice. I commend you and your husband for backing her up. Shortcuts in parenting don’t workout much like some shortcuts in cooking. You have to wait for the dough to rise to make the best bread!!! Thanks for your time and the recipe. It looks and sounds scrumptious. This will definitely be present at one of the teas my daughter and I do for my mom and some of our family friends. Blessings, Diann
Chris Scheuer says
Thanks so much Diann, hope you enjoy the cookies!
Melissa says
I am making these at the moment. I was wondering if they would still turn out good if I left out the oats?
Chris Scheuer says
I wouldn’t. If you’re not crazy about oats, don’t worry you will barely notice them. If you just don’t have any oats, you might want to borrow some or stop and run to the store. They won’t be the same.
Amanda says
I did have old fashion oats. Is there a specific reason why the recipe says to use old fashion oats over quick oats?
Chris Scheuer says
Hi Amanda, the texture of the cookie will be different if you use quick oats. Quick oats are simply ground up old fashioned oats so you’ll actually be using more oats with quick oats and the texture will be more dense. Old fashioned oats yield a chewier and lighter cookie.
Emily says
Hi there! I made these for the first time last week, and they came out delicious! Buuuuuut, my dough was really, really runny. I chilled the melted butter mixture for as long as the recipe called for. I’m trying to figure out how to get them to hold their shape more, as mine turned into one giant cookie!
Should the butter be whipped and not melted? Should we refridgerate again all ingredients are mixed? Hoping I can get this right the second time so the appearance is just as amazing as the taste!
Thank you!
Chris Scheuer says
Hmmm, you might try again. The butter is melted and it shouldn’t be too runny. You don’t have to refrigerate after the ingredients are mixed. I would give it a try again. Are you using all purpose flour. Do you live in the U.S.? The reason I ask is, that I’ve found when I’m visiting my daughter in London, I have to use extra flour in recipes as the flour seems to be different.
Emily says
Thanks for the reply! I actually came back to the site to see if you responded because I’m making them again tonight! I’m in the U.S. and using regular all purpose flour. I’ll let you know how they come out this time. I think I may have over melted my butter before, as it was very runny. Thanks again!
Amanda says
so excited to make these! is there a huge difference in kosher salt and regular salt? i don’t mind running out to grab kosher salt if it makes them better, just curious 🙂
Chris Scheuer says
Honestly Amanda, regular salt will be just fine. The difference other than the size of the salt grains is iodine which some people are allergic to. Kosher salt is a more “pure salt but you can definitely substitute regular salt in this recipe – just use a little less as it’s more dense than kosher salt. Enjoy the cookies!
Tiffany says
Hi, I am in the process of making these for the first time! Super excited, but I was wondering if it would hurt if they were chilled for longer than 30 min? I have a appointment and I lost track of time. Thank you!
Chris Scheuer says
Hi Tiffany, they should be fine. Just let them sit out for a bit before you start scooping.
Cvand says
I’ve made these a few times and they are perfect out of the oven!! But once they cool, they’re always really hard, crunchy cookies. Any suggestions to keep them soft and chewy?
Chris Scheuer says
Try baking them a few minutes less Cvand. I think you find that will make them more soft and chewy!
Christy says
I just made these cookies and they are glorious! Very easy directions and the consistency of the dough was very easy to scoop. They will become my “Go To” chocolate chip cookies. Thank you!
Chris Scheuer says
That’s awesome Christy! So happy you have enjoyed them!
Denise says
I have tried this recipe twice now and both times were an epic fail! Both attempts left me with rock hard burnt bottoms. I followed the recipe to the T and used everything called for. I’m extremely disappointed as I was really looking forward to these. I know it’s not my oven because I just made a variety of other cookies that cooked perfect. Don’t know what I am dking wrong here?!?!
Chris Scheuer says
So sorry Denise that you ended up wasting good ingredients. I’m honestly not sure what the problem is as mine have always turned out wonderful as have so many other’s who have made them as you can read in the comments.
Emilee says
These were absolutely delicious and will be one of my “go to” cookies! I doubled the recipe to make lots of cookies for a party I was going to….I was planning on bringing 4 dozen cookies. I measured everything out perfectly and rolled them into medium size balls….I ended up with 8 dozen cookies! No joke!! This recipe makes a ton of dough and you can easily get 3-4 dozen cookies out of one batch! Thanks for a wonderful recipe though! 🙂
Chris Scheuer says
Wow Emilee! You could have started a cookie shop! I make these cookies fairly big, which could account for the difference in total cookie count.
june white says
can this dough b e rolled into balls and frozen? june
Chris Scheuer says
Yes!
Brooke says
I don’t know what the hype is about all these cookies, but I honestly think the recipe is so messed up. There is not enough dough to accommodate all of the chocolate chips, pecans, and oats, so the cookie you’re left with is extremely crumbly and at the bottom of your mixing bowl, there’s about 1 1/2 cups of chocolate chips left over. Plus the baking time is all wrong. I put my cookies in for 15 minutes and they were way too done when I pulled them out. Extremely disappointed.
Cory says
Ive made these plenty of times and have never had those problems… theyre delish every time!
Chris Scheuer says
So glad you enjoyed them Cory!
Letizia Tripp says
these cookies are to die for . it takes a long time to make them, but it’s worth it . thanks for posting
Chris Scheuer says
Thanks Letizia! We really love them too! It’s hard to stop at just one…or two…or three! Oh forget it! 🙂
Crystal says
I usually never leave comments but I just HAD to after making these tonight…. To die for!!!! I ate two up so fast and had to control myself to not eat more aka half the batch!!! Haha. Thanks for the fantastic recipe!! My family is gonna love these tomorrow!
Chris Scheuer says
Thanks for taking the time to leave such a fun comment Crystal. Hope the family enjoys them as much as you have! Let us know also if you get any proposals 🙂
Jane says
OMG. these are some of the BEST cookies i have ever made or tasted! I will definitely be making these again and again!
As much baking as I do, its hard to please everyone – one likes nuts, one likes oatmeal, one likes chocolate chips…this combines all those and ends up amazing. Thanks for a great recipe 🙂
Chris Scheuer says
You’re very welcome Jane! We love them too! We have a new oatmeal/Butterfinger cookie recipe coming up soon – sooooo good!
Sabrina says
These are awesome! Took longer to cook than expected. I was out of vanilla so I mixed almond and coconut extracts to make a teaspoon. It tasted really good.
Chris Scheuer says
Sound like a creative variation Sabrina! Way to go!
Jo says
The cookies sure look great, but my comment is for the parenting and grandparenting displayed in this situation. Wow! I applaud your daughter for making the difficult choice to follow through and show truthfulness to her children, even when that meant missing out on a special treat just before leaving grandparents to be so far away. And to you, grandparents, I imagine that this was difficult for you, too, to encourage your daughter, but you all taught them a valuable lesson. As a parent of young kids (who also lives across the pond from family), I appreciate the encouragement and wisdom that you penned about consistency and boundaries.
Chris Scheuer says
Thanks Jo! We have been overwhelmed by the response from just this one post!
Laurie says
These cookies sound amazing! I bake for a bunch of guys who live at a homeless shelter. I’ll make these for them for Christmas.
Also, something to think about: a middle-of-the-night party reminds me of how excited me and sibs would get on Christmas Eve in anticipation of Santa’a arrival and parents coming to wake us up after he’s gone. We were so excited we couldn’t sleep. I wonder if the anticipation of a middle-of-the-night party isn’t so overwhelming as to be almost insurmountable in kiddie chatter behavior? Children just don’t have the same restraining that adults have had to develop over their lifetimes. Couldn’t the sleeplessness and chatter just be part of the anticipation and the excitement of the event instead of instructing about discipline?
Chris Scheuer says
Thanks Laurie for your thoughts. It’s been several years since that party, and they haven’t missed a single one since, so, sometimes that lesson really pays off, as hard as it seems in the moment. We do allow for lots of “child-expected” behaviors with our five grands, that’s just part of the wonderful enjoyment of watching kids grow up.
Mireille says
This is a delicious recipe. The only things I did different was I didn’t put the cookie balls on the cookie sheet & into the fridge for 30 mins. The ingredients were mixed together & scooped into balls onto a cookie sheet and into the oven and did just fine. I also didn’t put in chocolate chips but put in cinnamon chips instead. They were outstanding! Thanks so much for sharing this recipes! I didn’t get a proposal but my husband of almost 46 years definitely loved them.
Chris Scheuer says
Thanks Mireille, and welcome to the Café! I love your idea of the cinnamon chips and congratulations on 46 years, that’s so cool!
Kelsey says
Dumb question- what is the reason for not being able to use quick oats in this recipe? I have some quick oats I need to use up and was hoping to use them for this recipe. (By the way, I’ve made these cookies once before and they were gorgeous and delicious. I’m at a high altitude so it’s rare that a baking recipe turns out well the first time without having to tweak something.)
Chris Scheuer says
Hi Kelsey, you probably could use quick oats but you would get a different texture. Old-fashioned oats will give you a chewier texture, and quick oats will give a lighter, airier texture as they are more ground up.
Penelope says
Hi, I was wondering how long do these keep for? And would they mail well? I’m looking for cookies that I can send in care packages or around the hols to some friends out of state.
Chris Scheuer says
Hi Penelope, honestly they never last very long around our house unless I freeze them. I think they’d be fine for mailing as long as the temperatures weren’t too high.
Ashley VH says
Hi! These sound delicious!! I’m 38 weeks pregnant and looking for some sweets to freeze for after baby arrives. Are these freeze able??
Chris Scheuer says
Yes, you can freeze these after baking. Just cool them completely and then freeze on a cookie sheet. Once frozen you can store them in a plastic storage container or freezer bag. You can also freeze the dough unbaked- just scoop the dough onto the cookie sheet and then freeze. Again, once they are frozen transfer them to a freezer bag. When you are ready to eat just bake like normal adding an extra minute or two. Enjoy!
Sammie says
I was drawn to your site via a Pun of these fab Cookies – which look amazing – but it was the name that grabbed my attention!! I love Cookies and will definitely try these. As for the girls, it’s sooo hard watching your children/grandchildren learn a lesson the hard way, but equally important that they learn No Means No! Parenting is not easy, children will test and push you in ways that you never dreamed possible. They also need boundaries to feel secure and loved. And boy, do they give love back in a way you never thought possible. Love you post. Sammie x http://www.feastingisfun.com