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Who wouldn't love a cookie that's chocked full of two kinds of chocolate chips, pecans and oats? Rumor has it that these I Want to Marry You Cookies are so delicious that they've been known to elicit marriage proposals!
I'm not sure I believe that these I Want to Marry You Cookies will bring proposals but I know for certain that they're some of the very best chocolate chip cookies I've ever made!
Do you have any traditions in your family that are almost "institutional"? You know, certain established practices that you wouldn't DREAM of missing? That, in a nutshell, is what our "Middle-of-the-Night" parties have become. If you've been a longstanding follower of The Café, you might remember these crazy events, if not, you can read all about them here or here.
With our daughter, her husband and four children living in London, we can hardly wait to make fun, special family memories whenever we have the privilege of visiting each other on either side of "the pond". One of our traditions is these delightful wee hours of the morning rendezvous' that have become almost legendary. We make sure to include one of these celebrations, at an unannounced time, during their visit (and believe me, we are repeatedly reminded about them!). Our girlies love them, but they are also quite magical times for Grammy and Papa Scott.
We ran into a bit of a snag this time, however. It was the last night before their return flight to London, so the girlies had rightly surmised this would indeed be, "the" night for the special celebration. Grammy had mixed up the dough for these yummy, I Want to Marry You Cookies, and had planned to serve them warm, with china plates, candlelight and fancy glasses of cold milk. Papa was all set to document the party with his camera.
Mum (as British children call their mothers) and Daddy have been wonderful about going along with this silly tradition of ours and we've been careful to make the parties quite short (but sweet). As the girls were put to bed this time, they were admonished, in the usual tradition, "Go right to sleep without a lot of chatting." in order to have the "privilege" of a Middle-of-the-Night-Party.
For some reason, sleep did not come easy, but shenanigans did! Mum warned them once and on the second visit when she found the lights on and the girls playing merrily, she informed them that the "party" would "most likely" be canceled. With Daddy being out of town, Mum discussed it with us and made the wise decision to cancel the party. It was important for the girls to understand the importance of obedience. We were disappointed but supported the decision wholeheartedly.
Disappointment was not even close to describing how the girls felt in the morning when they realized that the WHOLE night had passed without the special party. They came down to breakfast with very gloomy faces and said they both cried when they woke up. That made Grammy teary-eyed, and Mum too, but you know what?
This sad situation resulted in an extremely important life-lesson for our girls. One of the most difficult aspects of parenting (and grandparenting) is setting boundaries and then following through when those boundaries have been breached. Universally, kids will test, test, test to see if "the rules" still apply in every situation.
Contradictory to common thought, when children have secure boundaries and know there will be consequences for disobedient behavior, they feel loved and safe. On the other hand, when the borders are inconsistent and consequences are wishy-washy, insecurity and unhappiness abound. For us "softies" (and that's just about all of us parents and grands, at one time or another) the "easy" path is to capitulate, to give in, to not make waves, allowing children to succeed in getting their way. The result is what here at The Café we call a "child-ruled home" in which both the children and the parents are often quite miserable.
There's a wonderful ending to this tale of woe. When we bid the girlies farewell at the airport today, you'll NEVER believe what they whispered as we hugged them goodbye their last words were; "We'll NEVER miss a Middle-of-the-Night-Party again, EVER! When mum says that it's time to go to sleep, well that's what we'll do".
Mission accomplished!
Parents and grandparents, take heart! Love your kids and your grandkids with every bit of energy you have, but don't be afraid to set limits, to be kind yet firm and to let your word stand on it's own. Your children (and grandchildren) will not only respect you but will turn out to be much happier, more secure and confident individuals.
Oh yeah, and the I Want to Marry You Cookies - the girls helped me bake them before they left. I was intrigued by the recipe as there were a few unusual steps. Instead of the traditional method of creaming the softened butter and sugar together, the butter is melted on the stovetop instead. I used my stand mixer to combine the melted butter with the remaining ingredients, but you could also opt to mix it all together right on the stovetop.
The other somewhat unconventional element in the directions is to chill the cookies for 30 minutes before baking. I was a bit dubious (and forever in a hurry) so I tried baking one pan without the stint in the fridge. There was clearly a difference, the unchilled batch having a flatter and less attractive appearance.
Do you like the name? I Want to Marry You Cookies - I thought it was fun, though a bit crazy. After taking the first bite though, I "got" it. The melted butter combined with a generous measure of brown sugar creates crisp, caramelized outer edges while the centers remain soft and chewy. Toasted pecans add a lovely crunch and a pinch of cinnamon gives the cookies a unique, mysterious flavor. You'll "get" it too - make a batch, they're phenomenally delicious and you might just find your neighbors, friends, family, co-workers, actually everyone who tries them, offering to marry you!
Super delicious cookies, so good, it's reported that they've been known to elicit marriage proposals...
- 1 cup butter
- 1 ¼ cups light brown sugar
- ½ cup granulated sugar
- 1 egg
- 1 egg yolk
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 2 cups flour
- 1 cup uncooked rolled or old fashioned oats - not quick oats.
- ½ teaspoon baking soda
- ½ teaspoon kosher salt
- ¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1 cup white chocolate chips extra for garnishing, if desired*
- 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips extra for garnishing, if desired*
- 1 cup roughly chopped toasted pecans, extra for garnishing, if desired*
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In a medium saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat until melted. Remove from the heat.
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Add the brown sugar and granulated sugar and stir until sugars are incorporated and smooth. Chill the mixture for 10 minutes.
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Remove from the refrigerator and stir in the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla.
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Add the flour, oats, baking soda, ½ teaspoon salt, and cinnamon and mix together.
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Stir in the white chocolate chips, chocolate chips and pecans.
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Roll by hand into medium-size balls or use a scoop, and place on sheet pans. If desired, tuck extra chips and pecans over tops of dough mounds for a lovely appearance.
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Chill, on sheet pan for 30 minutes.
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Preheat the oven to 325˚F. Remove the cookies from the refrigerator and bake for 14-18 minutes, or until golden brown. Allow to cool for several minutes on pan, then transfer to cooling rack.
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Watch the proposals coming pouring in!!! 🙂
I can't verify this but they say that these cookies are known to inspire marriage proposals. I can verify that they're crazy-good!
Patty Price says
Great post Chris-plenty of food for thought in this one..I always want to be my grandchildren's best friend but that really doesn't always work.... Plenty of time to have parties and share cookies with them and they will really look forward to all the special times in the future. Beautiful cookies-love everything about them 😉
Mama Peck says
Wonderful post! I'm so proud of you for supporting Mum even though I know it broke your heart to disappoint the grands. Its a lesson they'll never forget. I LOVE this tradition and hope to borrow it next time my kids come into town. Not quite sure what to do with the 10 year old grandson though.. I know he would LOVE the goodies, just can't see him getting into the 'tea party' idea. Maybe Grandpa can come up with something more 'manly' to do with him. 🙂 Thanks for sharing this one!!
Claire @ Claire K Creations says
Aww I might even have a little tear for the missed middle of the night party but you are very right about boundaries Chris. They learned their lesson and you still got some precious moments with them baking these fabulous looking cookies!
Sue/the view from great island says
Chris this is a fabulous post, I love the story and you are so right. I was never the best at setting boundaries, but thankfully my girls came out pretty darned good. Maybe I'll be better as a grandma! And as for the cookies, I have never seen a better looking one, I am going to have to make them!
twodogsinthekitchen says
Wonderful advice Chris and I wholeheartedly agree with you. I am a new Grandmother but, still have to meet my grandson. I know when I do temptation will be there to spoil, etc. but, I will go with Mommy and Daddy's wishes too. I did that with my son and plan on doing it with my grandson!! The cookies look great!
Georgia | The Comfort of Cooking says
I wish my husband had proposed to me with these! I might have delayed in saying yes with a mouthful of cookies though! 😉 Great recipe.
The Mom Chef says
Bravo, Chris! Discipline and fixed boundaries are so important in our children's lives. It's hard though. I find that when I have to mete out some sort of punishment, I'm usually the one that pays too, emotionally. However, our goal is to 'train our child in the way she should go, so she will not depart from it.'
The cookies....wow. I might get proposed to all over again. 🙂
The Café Sucré Farine says
🙂
Mary Hirsch says
Tough Love for a grandparent is very, very, very difficult. Love your middle-of-the-night parties. I remember your other posts. Those cookies look beyond wonderful and, while I don't want to marry you, Chris, I might want to become engaged.
Martha says
What a lovely post. The world needs more parents/grandparents to work together. Thanks for setting a great example of this!
Those cookies look smashing!
Carol | a cup of mascarpone says
A beautiful tradition, Chris...and a gorgeous cookie! Absolutely in the huge yummy category!!!
Jo Anne Tell says
yummy sounding cookie and way to go on the boundary-setting for the grands! You are absolutely correct in that children do ever-so-much-better when they have clearly established "guard rails" to let them know their boundaries.
And happy birthday!
xoxoxo
The Café Sucré Farine says
guard rails .............. what a great description! Thanks Jo Anne!
love to cook! says
Chris, do we add the pecans with the chips?
The Café Sucré Farine says
Oh, thanks for noticing, the pecans are my addition and I forgot to insert when to add them but it's now fixed, thanks to YOU!
love to cook! says
Thank you.
Angie Schneider says
Now that's a cookie! Rich, luscious and irresistible!
Kim G. says
You are soooooo right about kids... I teach in Highschool and my teenagers always test, until they reach the boundaries... And I think it's important to be firm (sometimes I'm more than firm but it's not always easy with 15-16 years odl kids...) I love these cookies! I tried recipes with melted butter (and browned butter) and it's really good!
Peanut Butter and Peppers says
Cute but sad story!! I know the girls will never miss an middle of the night party again. With these cookies Chris, I'll marry you! 🙂 They are scrumptious and beautiful!!!
Sandra Lee says
The sticking to the rules-rule has been much harder as a grandparent. However, rules and boundaries are set for a reason and they teach a valuable lesson. These cookies are calling me loud and clear and I'm trying very hard toignore them. Not sure if I can hold out because they look great! Once I made sugar cookies via the melted butter method and they were delicious.
Laura (Tutti Dolci) says
These cookies look fabulous, Crhis! I love the name... I'll have to try them out on someone I know sometime ;).
Happy Birthday, I hope you have a wonderful day! 🙂
Christina says
I will definitely be making these cookies! Recently made a chocolate chip cookie recipe - the butter was browned on the stove, then the sugars & eggs added ... then wait for 3 minutes, stir again - this process was completed 3-4 times. By the time the flour etc were added the sugar/butter mixture was thick and shiny. The cookies were beyond good. I may try that process with this recipe.
I too appreciate the story with your 'girls' and rules. You are a great example of a mother/mother-in-law - helping your kids set rules for their kids, even though some of your fun was spoiled.
Thanks for the story and the recipe.
The Café Sucré Farine says
Thanks Christina, such an interesting technique!
Joan / My Cookie Clinic says
What a delightful story. I love the tradition and the life-long memories you're creating with your grandchildren. These cookies look fabulous and I'll be whipping up a batch soon. Thanks for sharing this lovely story.
Joan / My Cookie Clinic says
What a delightful story. I love the tradition and the life-long memories you're creating with your grandchildren. These cookies look fabulous and I'll be whipping up a batch soon. Thanks for sharing this lovely story.
Denise Browning@From Brazil To You says
Chris:
I so agree with you. Children need boundaries and parents need to discipline them for the sake of everyone. I think they need to know who is really in charge and learn to respect and obey their parents. Those are lessons that will shape their lives and will be followed even when they become adults -- especially in the chaotic world that we are living in. I see this as a sign of great love.
Well, I hope they can have Grandma's cookies next time. This is a great tradition that creates sweet memories. I am 40 but still remember all the sweets that my Grandma used to make me and the wonderful time that you had together. She lives forever in my heart.
Diana @GourmetDrizzles says
What a lovely post to read first thing this morning! Such a sweet tradition, and a story of true love, by doing the right thing 😉 Thanks for sharing this and those fabulous cookes!
Karen (Back Road Journal) says
The cookies sound like they have everything going for them. I'm sorry that the girls didn't get to have the special party but they did learn there are consequences if they don't listen to what their mother tells them to do. A lesson learned but a sad one for everyone.
Maria says
ALthough I have no kiddos of my own, as a teacher, I've learned the importance of consistency and boundaries. A post with not only fabulous looking cookies but with wisdom to boot!
Tricia @ Saving room for dessert says
I just adore this post - what a special tradition. I love times and will certainly try the same with my grandchildren (only one grandson right now). You are blessed! Have a wonderful week and by the way, the cookies look sweet, creamy, crunchy, chocolatey and absolutely delicious!