I Want to Marry You Cookies

I Want to Marry You Cookies - Probably the best chocolate chip cookies you'll ever have the honor of meeting. Expect the unexpected with these gems!

Do you have any traditions in your family that are almost “institutional”? You know, certain established practices that you wouldn’t DREAM of missing? That, in a nutshell, is what our “Middle-of-the-Night” parties have become. If you’ve been a longstanding follower of The Café, you might remember these crazy events, if not, you can read all about them here or here.

With our daughter, her husband and four lovely children living in London, we can hardly wait to make fun, special family memories whenever we have the privilege of visiting each other on either side of “the pond”. One of our traditions is these delightful wee hours of the morning rendezvous’ that have become almost legendary. We make sure to include one of these celebrations, at an unannounced time, during their visit (and believe me, we are repeatedly reminded about them!). Our girlies love them, but they are also quite magical times for Grammy and Papa Scott.

We ran into a bit of a snag this time, however. It was the last night before their return flight to London, so the girlies had rightly surmised this would indeed be, “the” night for the special celebration. Grammy had mixed up the dough for these yummy, I Want to Marry You Cookies, and had planned to serve them warm, with china plates, candlelight and fancy glasses of cold milk. Papa was all set to document the party with his camera.

I Want to Marry You Cookies - Probably the best chocolate chip cookies you'll ever have the honor of meeting. Expect the unexpected with these gems!

Mum (as British children call their mothers) and Daddy have been wonderful about going along with this silly tradition of ours and we’ve been careful to make the parties quite short (but sweet). As the girls were put to bed this time, they were admonished, in the usual tradition, “Go right to sleep without a lot of chatting.” in order to have the “privilege” of a Middle-of-the-Night-Party.

For some reason, sleep did not come easy, but shenanigans did! Mum warned them once and on the second visit, when she found the lights on and the girls playing merrily, she informed them that the “party” would “most likely” be cancelled. With Daddy being out of town, Mum discussed it with us and made the wise decision to cancel the party. It was important for the girls understand the importance of obedience. We were disappointed, but supported the decision wholeheartedly.

Disappointment was not even close to describing how the girls felt in the morning when they realized that the WHOLE night had passed without the special party. They came down to breakfast with very gloomy faces and said they both cried when they woke up. That made Grammy teary-eyed, and Mum too, but you know what?

This sad situation resulted in an extremely important life-lesson for our girls. One of the most difficult aspects of parenting (and grandparenting) is setting boundaries and then following through when those boundaries have been breeched. Universally, kids will test, test, test to see if “the rules” still apply in every situation.

Contradictory to common thought, when children have secure boundaries and know there will be consequences for disobedient behavior, they feel loved and safe. On the other hand, when the borders are inconsistent and consequences are wishy-washy, insecurity and unhappiness abound. For us “softies” (and that’s just about all of us parents and grands, at one time or another) the “easy” path is to capitulate, to give in, to not make waves, allowing children to succeed in getting their way. The result is what here at The Café we call a “child-ruled home” in which both the children and the parents are often quite miserable.

There’s a wonderful ending to this tale of woe. When we bid the girlies farewell at the airport today, you’ll NEVER believe what they whispered as we hugged them goodbye their last words were; “We’ll NEVER miss a Middle-of-the-Night-Party again, EVER! When mum says that it’s time to go to sleep, well that’s what we’ll do”.

Mission accomplished!

Parents and grandparents, take heart! Love your kids and your grandkids with every bit of energy you have, but don’t be afraid to set limits, to be kind yet firm and to let your word stand on it’s own. Your children (and grandchildren) will not only respect you, but will a turn out to be much happier, more secure and confident individuals.

I Want to Marry You Cookies - Probably the best chocolate chip cookies you'll ever have the honor of meeting. Expect the unexpected with these gems!

Oh yeah, and the cookies – the girls helped me bake them before they left. I was intrigued by the recipe as there were a few unusual steps. Instead of the traditional method of creaming the softened butter and sugar together, the butter is melted on the stovetop instead. I used my stand mixer to combine the melted butter with the remaining ingredients, but you could also opt to mix it all together right on the stovetop.

I Want to Marry You Cookies - Probably the best chocolate chip cookies you'll ever have the honor of meeting. Expect the unexpected with these gems!

The other somewhat unconventional element in the directions is to chill the cookies for 30 minutes before baking. I was a bit dubious (and forever in a hurry) so I tried baking one pan without the stint in the fridge. There was clearly a difference, the unchilled batch having a flatter and less attractive appearance.

I Want to Marry You Cookies - Probably the best chocolate chip cookies you'll ever have the honor of meeting. Expect the unexpected with these gems!

Do you like the name? I Want to Marry You Cookies – I thought it was fun, though a bit crazy but after taking the first bite, I “got” it. The melted butter combined with a generous measure of brown sugar creates crisp, caramelized outer edges while the centers remain soft and chewy. Toasted pecans add a lovely crunch and a pinch of cinnamon gives the cookies unique, mysterious flavor.  You’ll “get” it too – make a batch, they’re phenomenally delicious and you might just find your neighbors, friends, family, co-workers, actually everyone who tries them, offering to marry you!




I Want to Marry You Cookies
Super delicious cookies, so good, it's reported that they've been know to elicit marriage proposals...
Recipe type: Cookies
Serves: 2 dozen
  • 1 cup butter
  • 1 ¼ cups light brown sugar
  • ½ cup granulated sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1 egg yolk
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2 cups flour
  • 1 cup uncooked rolled (or old fashioned) oats - not quick oats.
  • ½ teaspoon baking soda
  • ½ teaspoon kosher salt
  • ¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1 cup white chocolate chips, extra for garnishing, if desired*
  • 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, extra for garnishing, if desired*
  • 1 cup roughly chopped, toasted pecans, extra for garnishing, if desired*
  1. In a medium saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat until melted. Remove from the heat.
  2. Add the brown sugar and granulated sugar and stir until sugars are incorporated and smooth. Chill the mixture for 10 minutes.
  3. Remove from the refrigerator and stir in the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla.
  4. Add the flour, oats, baking soda, ½ teaspoon salt, and cinnamon and mix together.
  5. Stir in the white chocolate chips, chocolate chips and pecans.
  6. Roll by hand into medium-size balls or use a scoop, and place on sheet pans. If desired, tuck extra chips and pecans over tops of dough mounds for a lovely appearance.
  7. Chill, on sheet pan for 30 minutes.
  8. Preheat the oven to 325˚F. Remove the cookies from the refrigerator and bake for 14-18 minutes, or until golden brown. Allow to cool for several minutes on pan, then transfer to cooling rack.
  9. Watch the proposals coming pouring in!!! 🙂
I can't verify this but they say that these cookies are known to inspire marriage proposals. I can verify that they're crazy-good!
Nutrition Information
Serving size: 24-36

I Want to Marry You Cookies - Probably the best chocolate chip cookies you'll ever have the honor of meeting. Expect the unexpected with these gems!

135 thoughts on “I Want to Marry You Cookies”

  • I’ve made these a few times and they are perfect out of the oven!! But once they cool, they’re always really hard, crunchy cookies. Any suggestions to keep them soft and chewy?

  • I just made these cookies and they are glorious! Very easy directions and the consistency of the dough was very easy to scoop. They will become my “Go To” chocolate chip cookies. Thank you!

  • I have tried this recipe twice now and both times were an epic fail! Both attempts left me with rock hard burnt bottoms. I followed the recipe to the T and used everything called for. I’m extremely disappointed as I was really looking forward to these. I know it’s not my oven because I just made a variety of other cookies that cooked perfect. Don’t know what I am dking wrong here?!?!

    • So sorry Denise that you ended up wasting good ingredients. I’m honestly not sure what the problem is as mine have always turned out wonderful as have so many other’s who have made them as you can read in the comments.

  • These were absolutely delicious and will be one of my “go to” cookies! I doubled the recipe to make lots of cookies for a party I was going to….I was planning on bringing 4 dozen cookies. I measured everything out perfectly and rolled them into medium size balls….I ended up with 8 dozen cookies! No joke!! This recipe makes a ton of dough and you can easily get 3-4 dozen cookies out of one batch! Thanks for a wonderful recipe though! 🙂

  • I don’t know what the hype is about all these cookies, but I honestly think the recipe is so messed up. There is not enough dough to accommodate all of the chocolate chips, pecans, and oats, so the cookie you’re left with is extremely crumbly and at the bottom of your mixing bowl, there’s about 1 1/2 cups of chocolate chips left over. Plus the baking time is all wrong. I put my cookies in for 15 minutes and they were way too done when I pulled them out. Extremely disappointed.

  • I usually never leave comments but I just HAD to after making these tonight…. To die for!!!! I ate two up so fast and had to control myself to not eat more aka half the batch!!! Haha. Thanks for the fantastic recipe!! My family is gonna love these tomorrow!

  • OMG. these are some of the BEST cookies i have ever made or tasted! I will definitely be making these again and again!
    As much baking as I do, its hard to please everyone – one likes nuts, one likes oatmeal, one likes chocolate chips…this combines all those and ends up amazing. Thanks for a great recipe 🙂

  • These are awesome! Took longer to cook than expected. I was out of vanilla so I mixed almond and coconut extracts to make a teaspoon. It tasted really good.

  • The cookies sure look great, but my comment is for the parenting and grandparenting displayed in this situation. Wow! I applaud your daughter for making the difficult choice to follow through and show truthfulness to her children, even when that meant missing out on a special treat just before leaving grandparents to be so far away. And to you, grandparents, I imagine that this was difficult for you, too, to encourage your daughter, but you all taught them a valuable lesson. As a parent of young kids (who also lives across the pond from family), I appreciate the encouragement and wisdom that you penned about consistency and boundaries.

  • These cookies sound amazing! I bake for a bunch of guys who live at a homeless shelter. I’ll make these for them for Christmas.
    Also, something to think about: a middle-of-the-night party reminds me of how excited me and sibs would get on Christmas Eve in anticipation of Santa’a arrival and parents coming to wake us up after he’s gone. We were so excited we couldn’t sleep. I wonder if the anticipation of a middle-of-the-night party isn’t so overwhelming as to be almost insurmountable in kiddie chatter behavior? Children just don’t have the same restraining that adults have had to develop over their lifetimes. Couldn’t the sleeplessness and chatter just be part of the anticipation and the excitement of the event instead of instructing about discipline?

    • Thanks Laurie for your thoughts. It’s been several years since that party, and they haven’t missed a single one since, so, sometimes that lesson really pays off, as hard as it seems in the moment. We do allow for lots of “child-expected” behaviors with our five grands, that’s just part of the wonderful enjoyment of watching kids grow up.

  • This is a delicious recipe. The only things I did different was I didn’t put the cookie balls on the cookie sheet & into the fridge for 30 mins. The ingredients were mixed together & scooped into balls onto a cookie sheet and into the oven and did just fine. I also didn’t put in chocolate chips but put in cinnamon chips instead. They were outstanding! Thanks so much for sharing this recipes! I didn’t get a proposal but my husband of almost 46 years definitely loved them.

  • Dumb question- what is the reason for not being able to use quick oats in this recipe? I have some quick oats I need to use up and was hoping to use them for this recipe. (By the way, I’ve made these cookies once before and they were gorgeous and delicious. I’m at a high altitude so it’s rare that a baking recipe turns out well the first time without having to tweak something.)

    • Hi Kelsey, you probably could use quick oats but you would get a different texture. Old-fashioned oats will give you a chewier texture, and quick oats will give a lighter, airier texture as they are more ground up.

  • Hi, I was wondering how long do these keep for? And would they mail well? I’m looking for cookies that I can send in care packages or around the hols to some friends out of state.

  • Hi! These sound delicious!! I’m 38 weeks pregnant and looking for some sweets to freeze for after baby arrives. Are these freeze able??

    • Yes, you can freeze these after baking. Just cool them completely and then freeze on a cookie sheet. Once frozen you can store them in a plastic storage container or freezer bag. You can also freeze the dough unbaked- just scoop the dough onto the cookie sheet and then freeze. Again, once they are frozen transfer them to a freezer bag. When you are ready to eat just bake like normal adding an extra minute or two. Enjoy!

  • I was drawn to your site via a Pun of these fab Cookies – which look amazing – but it was the name that grabbed my attention!! I love Cookies and will definitely try these. As for the girls, it’s sooo hard watching your children/grandchildren learn a lesson the hard way, but equally important that they learn No Means No! Parenting is not easy, children will test and push you in ways that you never dreamed possible. They also need boundaries to feel secure and loved. And boy, do they give love back in a way you never thought possible. Love you post. Sammie x http://www.feastingisfun.com

  • These are absolutely wonderful! Made them this afternoon to deliver as Christmas goodies but my husband has discovered them so already adding ingredients to my grocery list for another batch! The toasted pecans add a great flavor and the edges are just the wee bit crunchy. Will definitely be my go-to chocolate chip-type cookie recipe from now on. They are a bit time consuming as far as chilling the cookies prior to cooking but more than well worth it!

  • I was so excited to make these! Unfortunately, they didn’t turn out like I had hoped. The dough was not cohesive (and kind of crumbly), and during baking stayed more like balls rather than flattening out. I followed the recipe exactly, but I do live in Denver. Maybe it’s the high elevation? Any tips?


    • So sorry you didn’t have good results. It makes me mad when I waste good ingredients. I’m not sure about baking in high altitudes as I’ve never lived much above sea level but I had have great results with these cookies and have also heard from others who have.

  • Love the night-time surprise party idea, as a long distant Oma I look for ideas to make special memories. Also know the importance of respecting our children’s parenting decisions. The cookies look amazing. Do you use old fashioned oats or quick oats? Thanks for the recipe and story!

  • These cookies turned out great! Followed the recipe as written and had perfect results. I took these to work as a Friday treat and they were a hit. My work is predominately male with me as one of the minority female, so I must confess when asked what they are called I couldn’t tell!!! Didn’t want to start rumors, haha!

  • Greetings from Ireland.
    The piece you wrote about boundaries is excellent.
    I like the gentleness of your writing, you manage to express strong points in such a beautifully written way.

    I came across your blog while surfing for cooking tips and I was gutted when I realised there actually is no cafe’ run by you 🙁
    I was so impressed by the blog that I was definitely going to visit this amazing cafe’ sometime…
    Well, happy blogging and cooking and thanks for posting this beautiful recipie and story.

  • These cookies are honestly the most delicious cookies I have ever made! They go over extremely well. Definitely will be making a lot more of these in the future.

  • Did you use dark brown or light brown sugar?
    Thank you, can’t wait to make them for company for my daughters wedding!

  • Hi Chris., I saw the recipe for “I want to marry you cookie”. forwarded to the recipe and found a wonderful story about your “middle of the night party”. I think the point of the story is so important in todays life. I am going to send it for my Daughter and Son to read. Without the guidelines children flounder and don’t know what is the right path to take.
    I can tell that in your heart it hurt you just as much as it did the “grands”. Also I know there will be plenty of middle of the night parties in the future. From one Grandma to lanother, well done.
    Now I need to make the cookies.

  • These look amazing Chris! I can’t believe I missed them when you first posted them! What a wonderful memories to make with your Grandchildren, I would love to have a middle of the night party!

  • Hi Chris!! I just wanted to give you and your husband props for backing up your daughter-in-law. My mother-in-law used to live only 20 minutes from us and we were at her house all the time. She’s Italian and a great cook but whenever I felt the need to discipline my daughter at her house, she would always interfere and my husband would back HER up!! As you can imagine, this created a lot of frustration for me. Fortunately, I was blessed with a daughter who is very kind, generous, thoughtful, and loving (and almost 20!!). My mother-in-law lives in Italy now and when she comes to visit, I can see how my daughter manipulates her (but not me). Your daughter-in-law will remember your support and will love and respect you even more for it. My mother-in-law has my love; my respect, however, not so much. I made a vow to myself that if and when my daughter ever has children, I will do my best to help her discipline them however she may deem necessary. After all, it takes a village to raise a child. :))

    As far as these cookies go, I can’t wait to make them!! Who knows, my husband may end up asking me to marry him again. I might have to give it some thought this time, though….LOL!!

    • Thanks for taking the time to leave this comment. You sound like a very good mum yourself :)I And it’s so true, we have to show respect and it will come back!! Have a great day!!

  • Oh my goodness!!! I’ve been waiting to make these cookies for months!!! These were amazing! the texture is simply fantastic. They spread out nicely and were crispy on the edges. I made these for my family and they loved them 🙂 thanks

  • These are delicious. I followed the recipe exactly and they turned out great. I would prefer them a little sweeter, so I welcome any thoughts on how to adapt to maintain the texture but add more sugar…

    • Hi Jenn, thanks for leaving a comment. I think you could add 1/4 cup more sugar and you’d be fine or you could add toffee bits (like Heath Brickle Bits) which really make these cookies crazy good!

  • I made these this morning, absolutely delicious, thanks for the recipe! I added butterscotch chips into the mix and it worked well.

    • Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment, yes, they are quite delicious! I love your adaptation with the butterscotch chips, yum!!

  • Life is easier when you follow the rules. That lesson doesn’t come easy though and even in adulthood we are reminded of this, “I was a bit dubious (and forever in a hurry) so I tried baking one pan without the stint in the fridge.”

    Good on you and their mum though, I always find it more difficult to enforce rules on mine when we are visiting relatives…especially grandparents.

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